Jumping My Track
by Magical Girl Pretty Sammy-Chan
Summary: [Kira x Cagalli][Songfic to Just Breathe by Anna Nalick] Cagalli contemplates her relationship with her brother. Could her overbearing feelings destroy the bonds holding her down?


Hey guys! I'm back, with another one-shot! Gundam SEED this time, and for my OTP --

TWINCEST! YA-HA! Go Kira x Cagalli! If you're offended by twincest, don't read. If you like this pairing, read and review! If you don't like this pairing, but are just too damn curious to NOT read, then go ahead, and please leave a review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED, or this song, "Just Breathe" by Anna Nalick

* * *

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,  
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,  
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"_

"Cagalli?"

"Hmm?"

I noticed the voice over the phone that I had just picked up. It was two in the morning, and I was still awake, going over a few papers. After all, I _was _a new representative of Orb, and I couldn't afford to fall behind on work. "Lacus? Is that you?"

Lacus was…my brother's girlfriend. Kira, my…brother. Funny, it's still so weird to say it. I just can't spit it out sometimes. We're kind of "long-lost" siblings, so my mind still kind of reels every time I try to say "Hi…brother" to him.

"Oh yes…umm…I really do hate to bother you," Lacus' voice was anxious. I could tell that much. She hardly ever brought up her problems, so I knew something was up. "It's Kira…"

"What about…my brother?" Damn. There it was again. "What about Kira?"

"He…he's been acting strange lately," Lacus said. "I mentioned you last night when we went to dinner…and he…he just got up and left."

"Me?" I asked. "What would Kira—I mean…my brother," I was trying too hard now, "have to be upset about? Especially about me?"

"I wanted to ask you," Lacus said. "Did you two…have a fight?"

Now Lacus reminded me of a girlfriend calling her best friend to console _her _boyfriend problems, not her own. I did have a boyfriend. Well…I _had_ a boyfriend. I had broken up with Athrun after a few months of our dating. I had…well… He just didn't seem to "get" me. That doesn't make much sense does it?

_Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes  
Like they have any right at all to criticize,  
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason  
_

And so I went to that party with Lacus. The important party between representatives of Orb and former Earth Forces officers. After the long phone talk, I had invited her to go with me, and she had agreed. And so, the two of us walked in, me in my usual dress suit – that's what I remembered. Athrun hated me wearing pants to important things like this – and Lacus looking stunning, as usual.

Then I saw him.

Kira. Standing across from me with Athrun. What was he doing here? He looked at me, and then averted his gaze. Athrun, however, gave me a friendly smile, which I returned. Of course, the two of us had remained friends.

"Kira, there's Lacus and Cagalli," Athrun brought his friend over to the two of us, smiling at both of the girls. "How are you girls doing?"

"I'm fine," I shrugged. "What's up…br…Kira?" I had stopped myself…again.

"Uhh…nothing!" he spit out in his usual Kira fashion. "I-I'm fine…"

We stared at each other as Athrun and Lacus began to talk to each other. I had to find something to say. Something that would make us…be like "siblings".

But I didn't want to be.

I was tired of being his sister.

But what could I do?

_'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button, girl.  
So cradle your head in your hands  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe  
_

A song began. Lacus asked Kira to dance. He agreed. Athrun asked me, and I agreed as well. After all, I wasn't so awkward as I wouldn't even dance. Even if I wasn't very good. But Kira and I kept throwing glances at one another during the dance.

I wanted to switch partners. Badly. Then I bit my lip and shook my head. No…that's not right. I was just awkward about dancing with my Ex. Right? I didn't actually want to dance romantically with Kira…I mean…my brother.

_May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss  
"Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist,  
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."  
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,  
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,  
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it._

But I couldn't deny one thing. I had feelings for him before I learned that we were supposedly brother and sister. I would have gone so far…as to say… No. No I wouldn't have.

As for our sibling relationship, it worked, didn't it? The picture, my father, our birthdays. …It all fit.

Except my heart.

The song ended, and I walked as quickly as I could off of the dance floor, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. I felt dirty, ashamed, and horrible inside. What the hell was wrong with me?

_Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.  
No one can find the rewind button, boys,  
So cradle your head in your hands,  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe  
_

"I'm a little tired," I told Athrun, Lacus, and Kira. "I'm going out to the balcony for a bit, all right? A little bit of fresh air, ya know?"

I made a hasty exit, looking over my shoulder at Kira, who was watching me go. I averted my gaze, tears threatening to leak out my eyes. My walk turned into a jog. I had to get away, and my body was screaming to sprint. But my head held it back.

'Just slow down…' I told myself. 'You've got nothing…nothing to be…' It was too late. Tears were falling down my cheeks. Oh God…someone stop me. 'You've got nothing to be ashamed of!'

_There's a light at each end of this tunnel,  
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out  
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again  
If you only try turning around.  
_

"Cagalli?"

I looked up, tears still flowing down my cheeks. There he was. Kira, standing over me, looking at me with concerned eyes. I wiped my cheeks off. "Wh-what?" I asked in that usual gruff tone. "I wasn't crying! I just…I just got some dust stuck in my eye! It is breezy out here!"

"I-I know," Kira nodded, sitting down next me. "It is."

I looked at him, and he looked at me. I could feel it. He felt…the same way. My eyes began to close, as did his.

_2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song  
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,  
Threatening the life it belongs to  
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd  
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud  
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to  
_

Our lips met and I felt as though my life had just been given its missing puzzle piece. My heart was jumping from excitement as I felt the acceptance that I had always wanted. Kira, despite…despite being…my…

Oh hell. He wasn't my brother! He was the boy I loved, and the boy who loved me back. And I was just a girl, kissing the boy I loved. Blood is thicker then water. But lipstick is thicker then both.

Not that I was wearing any.

We broke, breathing hard, and I grabbed Kira before he could run away. Kira grabbed me too, and we breathed heavily, as though we had just gotten away with murder. I looked up at him, and he looked down at me. "D-do you…"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I want to be with you, Kira. I…I love you."

I could hear music starting up from the main room again, and I grasped Kira's hand. "Let's go," I smiled at him. "Are you up for a dance?"

"What will people say?" he asked.

"What's wrong?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "Can't two teenagers dance together without being stared at?"

_But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button now  
Sing it if you understand.  
and breathe, just breathe  
woah breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe._


End file.
